Thriller

Arachnophobia

Sam concludes this year’s Spook Retorts with the 1990 thrill-omedy film Arachnophobia. When a hitherto unknown species of giant, deadly, Venezuelan hive spider is transported to a small West Coast town things are going to get creepy-crawly. Impressively quickly, the Venezuelan spider breeds with a common house spider which raises for Danielle all sorts of questions about spider reproduction that Sam is ill-equipped to answer. Mismatched spider breeding sizes aside, Dr. Ross Jennings, played by the always delightful Jeff Daniels, is a new transplant to the town looking to set up a medical practice, but finds himself in every doctor’s worst nightmare when all his patients start mysteriously dropping dead. Will Dr. Ross be able to unravel this mystery and protect his family all while overcoming his intense fear of spiders? Maybe, but not until suspiciously after his medical practice competition is eliminated. Luckily, John Goodman, playing a goofy exterminator, is there to be the hero we all want in our lives. As for how the spiders feel about all this, I’ll let renowned spider lover Jimmy Buffett’s end-credits song lyrics speak for them: “I’m fakey, real flaky, eight legs and one pea brain, so don’t bug me.”

Jaws: The Revenge

Sam closes out Shark Week by sharing Jaws: The Revenge, the fourth installment in the Jaws franchise. Follow the Brody family (except Roy Scheider, the one you care about) as they are assailed by a shark determined to take revenge. Revenge for what we’re not exactly sure, possibly to restore shark honor. What we can say for sure is that this movie contains both a probable shark psychic and Michael Caine, and we are so here for it. Also, the shark is clearly better at making plans than the people. So join us for some fun, and blood, in the sun!